BITE ME!

Begin rant:

            Today marks the day of the end of my patience with my students.  Since I have started working over a year ago I have been hit, touched inappropriately in no-no places (ALL of them), coughed on purposefully, spat on purposefully, pushed, pulled, and bitten. 

Throughout it all I have been firm in telling students that behaviour is NOT okay and have had my manager and other Japanese teachers speak with them so they know beyond a doubt not to do it.  In all these situations parents have not been spoken to.  The Japanese staff (or perhaps the culture) is afraid to address it with them because we are supposed to be happy, positive, and not piss people off because it’s a private school.  I cannot speak with the parents because a) there is an obvious language barrier and b) there is a chain of command and us lowly foreigners are on the bottom.

            I appreciate my manager speaking to the students and insisting I come get her when things get out of control but it should be told to the parents!  Otherwise how will these kids know?  And clearly the teachers’ words are not having an impact.

            Many times when a student doesn’t understand something or is misbehaving or anything at all, I’ll bring it to my manager’s attention just to talk about it or laugh about or whatever (we have a good relationship).  But many times she listens and says “That can happen.”  Which is what she said to me today.

            In today’s class of 3 yr olds I have one child in particular that likes to bite.  Since I started teaching her in April she has bitten me pretty much every week.  She’s buried her head in my crotch while I’m kneeling, bitten my butt, inner thighs, and jaw.  The jaw hurt for hours and left teeth marks.  The butt and inner thighs?  What the fuck are you going there for???  Last week she bit my left breast HARD.  Enough that I felt it for a while and had a mark.  I was tired of not speaking with the parents so I brought it up.  While we were talking the mom figured out it was her child in particular that was doing the biting and was not surprised.  She apologized profusely and even questioned her daughter while we were all still sitting there.  At least she recognized the problem.

            But today (one week later) I was bit HARD on the shoulder.  She left a bite mark of spit and an indent.  (I should tell you I have fibromyalgia and feel pain a little more strongly than others and the pain lingers for a while.)  Immediately I showed I was very upset, ordered them to sit, and called a Japanese teacher to speak with them.  She did and really tried to reinforce it several times with them.  Then towards the end of the class the little one was about a foot away and LUNGED for me and bit me right in the middle of the breast – on the nipple!!!  I WAS FUCKING FURIOUS!!!!!  Who the FUCK does that?  I lost it.  I grabbed her hands, held them in mine, wouldn’t let them go, and spoke very angrily to her nose-to-nose.  I kept telling her it wasn’t okay.  I mimed biting and said don’t do it, not okay, I kept pointing to the door telling her she could leave my classroom if it happened again (she understands the door because I’ve done it before).  Then class ended.

            I had a rant in the office with some teachers then I spoke with my manager about it later that day.  I was still incredibly upset.  No, not upset – LIVID!!!  When I spoke to my manager I told her I wasn’t going to tolerate it anymore.  If it doesn’t stop by September she can leave or get a new teacher or whatever.  I refuse to teach her.

            My manager was very supportive and listened and tried to come up with a solution.  She even called another manager to ask what to do.  They decided that she should sit in on my class and observe.  BUT she has class at that time so that’s useless.  She also said she hopes we get the new teacher by then.  SO WHAT?  She can pass that little brat on to someone else???  Are you kidding me?  Then she also said, “Yes, this happens…”

            So here’s my beef.  Well I suppose the above was the beef.  Let’s say this is the prime rib entrée with garlic mashed taters.  I KNOW THIS HAPPENS!!! Idiot!  I know kids are brats and uncontrollable and hell-raisers.  But just because it happens doesn’t mean it’s ok!  FOOL!  If this were Canada – 1^st offense: parent/teacher conference, 2^nd offense: suspension, 3^rd offense – expulsion.  Why?  Because this falls under the “abuse” category.  Damn right it’s abuse.  I am your teacher.  You do not bite me!  End of story.  But because I’m in Japan I have never felt comfortable addressing serious concerns with my manager.  Every time I do it’s like I’m the angry North American who has different expectations of students than they do in Japan and am overreacting.  They don’t understand why it’s such a problem and why I’m telling them these things.  It’s so it can be dealt with to avoid any further incidents.

            My manager is young and new to managing and is not yet comfortable being a hard-ass.  But when your staff is being abused by students, it’s time to step up and deal with it.  I don’t care if she is only 3 yrs old – she knows right from wrong because I’ve seen her recognize it.  And the other students too.  When they grab my breast and I reprimand them you can see they understand they shouldn’t.  A couple you know did it just to see what would happen.

            But when it goes on week after week and only gets worse…fuck it.  Bite me again and I will knock your teeth out.  I will kick you out of my class, watch you cry in the hall, and call head office to tell them my decision not to teach that child again – or any child for that matter.  This happens way too often and is glossed over far too much.  Why should I tolerate it because everyone else is too scared to man up?  Why should I tolerate it because “these things happen?” Why should I tolerate it because I teach children that parents refuse to actually parent?

            I see it everyday – parents complain their children don’t listen or behave in class but they do ABOSUTELY NOTHING to stop them.  In mommy-and-me classes they laugh when their kids punch them, climb on them, spit on them, and don’t listen to me.  Then after they say, “Oh, I’m so sorry.  I can’t get them to listen or pay attention.  I don’t know what to do.”  And then they expect me to work miracles for their brats.  Seriously?

            Well I am done.  No more tolerating.  No more not speaking with parents.  No more, no more, no more.  I didn’t sign up to be felt-up and abused and if this isn’t taken seriously then they’re going to be scrambling to find a new teacher very fast.

End rant.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go rub cocoa butter on my nipple...