Two months and counting...

So those last blog entries hinted at me making a big decision and you’ve probably already worked it out.  I am leaving Japan!

I have been here just over 2 years and it has been great and terrible! Really, it’s not surprising because nothing you do will ever be perfect and you can’t expect things to be as such just because you change your location.  You are still who you are and must accept that.  It took me a long time to do that and I’m not even sure I have, really.

The biggest factor that influenced my decision to leave was my health.  Since I have been here I have gained a lot of weight.  For a looooong time I was of the mentality that I’m on vacation and I should enjoy the food I have around me because I might not get it again – BIG mistake!  Also, I fucking hate cooking!!! I’m bad at it and when you have ONE burner, half a sink, and NO counter space (not an exaggeration) you would lose all desire to wanna cook too…even if you could.  Food here is very expensive and I don’t have the luxury of going to the inexpensive grocer’s and buying bags of fresh produce for 2 weeks.  I have to shop everyday or several times a week.  Produce is asshole expensive and they don’t have a wide variety like at home.  Rapini, kale, even celery? What are those?  Oh, they have celery but ONE STALK is $1.50.

So that’s the weight.  But the main issue with my health is my eczema.  Since I got here it has gone from bad to worse to dear-god-what-happened-to-your-face–and-body?  I can’t go outside where it’s a little warm because the slightest trace of sweat on my forehead/face makes me want to rip it to shreds.  I’m covered scalp to toes in scabs and scars (scars that won’t fade since I have been here…).  My skin is severely dry and flaking and painful.  It literally burns to wash my face each morning and evening – I dread it.

My kids ask me if I’m ok, if I hurt.  I have a wand mirror I use in class for my little ones.  When they get hurt or have a scratch on them, I wave my wand, make a beeping sound and their pain goes away.  One little baby now does this to me each week because she sees my cuts and scabs.

One mother walked in with her crying baby in her arms and completely ignored him when she saw me.  *GASP* “Are you ok? What happened?”  I can’t wear make-up anymore and I’m applying cream and lotions to my face so much (even during lessons) I carry a tube in my pocket.  I carry ice-packs around work with me to help with the inflammation and pain and itch.  I have more meds than I’ve ever taken.  I had my family send remedies and creams from home. I have pills, creams, and powders from here – nothing works.

And so I made the decision to leave.  Unfortunately, Company X doesn’t do 3 month contracts (I asked and explained about my skin and they said no…) so I am breaking my contract in half.  Even though I gave them more than enough time to find a replacement and I hadn’t even started the current contract when I gave them my notice they still saw it as a “break of contract” – no bonus and no letter of recommendation.  Shit.  I’ve literally bled for this company but whatever.  I still get a phone reference if my future company calls but Company X will let them know I am a contract breaker.  FOR HEALTH REASONS!  I’m sure my future employer will understand and it’s not like I’ve done anything bad to earn a negative character reference.

I leave October 18^th and am counting the days.  I thought my skin would get a reprieve in the summer since winter is so dry but this year that is not the case.  It’s worse than ever and there is no treatment in sight. 

I was busy this holiday week preparing my apartment, cleaning, packing, and trying to figure out how to ship all my things home when I leave.  I will be travelling for a bit and it will cost too much to return to Japan after and fly out one-way just to take my things.  It’s better to ship everything and I can return home from wherever I end off…I think.  Shipping is fucking expensive!

I am very excited and scared of the next chapter in my life.  I’ll be travelling Southeast Asia for a while and hoping that lying on a beach and soaking in the salt water will ease my suffering.    But that means being at the mercy of other customs and cultures by myself.  God help me if I should have another anaphylactic shock after eating peanuts in Thailand – it didn’t work out so well in Japan if you remember.

And then that means after I finish travelling I have to return home.  Try to find a job, get an apartment, and do something where my teaching skills and degree is transferable.  Yeah, getting a job back home will be easy, right? Hahaha…haha..ha…

So that’s me – up-to-date and ready to move on.  Two months and counting!

Oh, p.s. I am very much looking forward to removing myself from the bullshit of my school branch and general workplace customs that just don’t work.  Not even for me – it’s clear when you’re co-workers are constantly floundering that something needs to change…

p.p.s. The “I’m grateful for being here and I’m gonna miss J-Land” update will follow :)

Golden Week Pt. 2 - Kyoto

Kyoto was great!  I chose a really cool hostel with kimono capsule beds.  They actually had kimono of different colours and designs attached to the outside and even a sliding paper-screen door for privacy.  And let me tell you – the shower facilities were amazing!

By this time in my trip I am tired and in pain.  But again, I am travelling alone so I can go at my own pace.  Day 1 was raining like crazy so I hung back for a while and later set out to find food and take in the city.  Nothing interesting happened; usual food, usual stores, usual, usual, usual.  OH! But I saw a Maiko in Gion District.

The next day, however, was what I had planned this trip for.  I was going to Kiyomizu-dera.  I had been planning this trip for months and was not disappointed even when I got there and one of the buildings was covered with scaffolding and ugly, grey sheets.  This place was crazy busy but not as busy as it was in the fall.  I walked around and checked out the many areas.  One area was known for love; Jishu Shrine.  There are 2 large rocks 30ft apart and if you can make it from one to the other with your eyes closed you will be lucky in love…I did not do it…sigh :)

There was a bucket of water and very thin pieces of paper shaped like a person beside it.  If you wrote your desire on it and put the paper in the water it would immediately dissolve and your desire would come true.  I asked for the clarity to make a decision and I really believe it worked.  Plus it was super-cool to watch the paper-man dissolve in .2 secs.

Keep walking, keep walking.  Came to a path that led to Koyasu Pagoda – the 3 story orange structure.  A visit to this is said to bring an easy and safe childbirth.  Just as well as I failed to secure my luck in love…The pagoda was grand and beautiful and a very sweet couple asked if I could take their picture for them.  Of course I obliged and then they insisted they take one for me! They were so sweet with all their compliments :)  

Walking, walking, walking and I come to the Otowa Waterfall.  This is where a stream runs over a structure in 3 streams into a pool below.  You take cups attached to long, metal rods and fill it with water from one of the streams.  You can rinse your hands and drink from it (the cups are sanitized each time with a UV light box).  Each stream is said to have different benefits – longevity, success at school, and a fortunate love life.  Not sure which one I drank out of :)

And that was it.  I walked around some more contemplating a snack when lo-and-behold: kagi gori!  Strawberry please :)  Delish.  Oh, and walking down the long road to the bus a group of junior high school girls was walking towards me.  This one girl kept saying, "Hello" (in English) to everyone and finally I answered her when she came close.  She was so excited and pleased with herself for making contact in English with a foreigner.  We chatted for a couple minutes and I heard her friends exclaim and giggle as I walked away.  Kawaii, ne?

I hopped on a bus and made my way to Heian Shrine.  A massive shrine with a massive torii in front.  It was surprisingly quiet and I was able to get a lot of great pics. The next day was my last.  I was meant to catch a night bus at 10PM so I had a lot of time to spare.  I had originally wanted to go to Nara to see the Great Buddha.  I had it all planned.  Leave my hostel, get a locker and check my suitcase at the station, and head out for the long journey to Nara.  I would have plenty of time to catch my train.  And then…Fate…

I had bought my train ticket for Nara and was running to catch it; I had 1 minute and Kyoto station is fucking huge (no apologies).  Just as I get down the stairs to the open doors of the train I realized my wallet was open because I hear change drop.  I looked down and it’s 10Y (a dime); nothing, right?  But the train is still here so I bend to pick it up and reach the doors just in time! …for them close in my damn face.  Well shit.  This is the express, which cuts the commute by 30 min.  The next train is not for 15 min and that’s a local.  The express doesn’t come for 30 minutes.  So I get out my iPod touch to check my options but it’s not there!  Craptastic!  I rummage, I search, I empty, I throw, I have a sweaty fit.  It’s not there.  I know it’s not in the locker b/c I never took it out when I got to the station.  So…it’s at the hostel…I think.  I find the tourist centre, pay for internet, Google the hostel, send a quick mail, and get the number.  Then I have to figure out how to use the payphone.  I finally get in touch – Yataa!!!! They had JUST found it!!  So I head back to the hostel and pick it up.  I again try to figure out my options and I have missed my window for Nara.  Now what?  Best afternoon ever, that’s what!

I go to this crepe place I had been eying since I got there but never had the time to try out.  Had a wonderful galette crepe with an avocado and shrimp salad heaped on top.  And a mango smoothie to wash it all down.  Next a 30 min foot reflexology treatment followed by an hour body massage for $62 (equiv.).  Take a train over to Fushimi Inari known for 1000 torii gates! I strolled and enjoyed the sunset over the bright orange gates.  Then I headed back to the crepe place for Crepe Suzette (best I’ve EVER had!!!!) and took my time back to my bus.

I don’t believe in fate but dropping that coin changed my entire day.  If I hadn’t picked it up I would have made by train but been without my iPod – my map, notes, translator, and all travel info.  I would’ve gone to Nara and found the Buddha eventually but trying to fix times and just using it to plan was taken from me.  Dropping that coin allowed me have an unhurried day and get to do things I wouldn’t have been able on my original schedule.  I was able to enjoy my day and do several things instead of ONE thing a lots of travel time. 

I changed into something a little more comfortable and endured to longest and most uncomfortable bus ride of my life!  Shit! This ladies night bus?  Never again! Tight seats, no leg room, short foot rest, and no room to shift any way.  Gah! Then I got dropped off close to the west exit of Shinjuku Stn.  Shinjuku Station is massive and at 7 AM with luggage and fatigue it’s not fun to navigate.  But I made it all the way back to my place and collapsed!

All-in-all I’d say it was a successful solo trip.  I was in pain throughout the whole time.  I had stomach pain (which I’d had for a couple weeks prior to leaving – definitely stress related), calf pain, back pain, and a headache.  I was trying to decide future options and what’s best for me.  I made those decisions.

Despite the pain and stress I climbed a mountain, pushed my body even more than usual, tried new foods, took amazing pictures, found out more about myself, experienced kindness from several strangers, did things on my terms, and made a big decision I have yet to regret.  I am definitely looking forward to what’s coming next.

Golden Week Pt. 1 - Hiroshima

Once again it has been so long since I have written.  I have been in a funk and have not felt like writing but I’m back and better than ever.  I’ve done a lot since my last entry and I’m excited to share.  First, for Golden Week this year I decided to take a trip by myself to sort some things out, try to make decisions, and just be me.

I went to Hiroshima and Kyoto for 5 days – it was amazing and I am so happy I did this alone.  I was able to things on my own time and not worry about what someone else wanted to do, keeping a schedule, or feeling bad if I decided I wanted to change plans.  It was also good prep for when I travel Asia.

Hiroshima was first and it was beautiful.  On my first day, after arriving in the afternoon, I went to the Peace Park with the Memorial Museum and Atomic Bomb Dome. Despite the setting and history it was truly a beautiful place and the weather was perfect.

Funny story: I was walking through the Children’s Memorial where they have thousands of paper cranes displayed in clear cases.  These cranes were made by children (I believe) in honour of the ones who died from that fatal event. There is a tall stone structure that has a crane perched on top.  I wasn’t sure what was inside so I checked it out and it was a crane shaped bell.  So…I looked around and nobody was watching me and I rang the bell.  It was LOUD! I quickly walked away…then a few others walked up and rang it too!  Oh man, I was gonna be on the news for inciting a disturbance and getting all these foreign fools to ring this precious bell! Ahaha!!! I thought it was funny and will NEVER do that again :)

I hunted down Hirishima Okonomiyaki with oysters that night for dinner.  It was huge and delicious and I added a little kimchi for a kick.  Amazing!  That night I got no sleep just because I don’t travel well and one of my roomies was pretty loud – crinkling plastic bags, repacking at 3 AM. Then another got up super-early and left.  So I was awake and decided to start my day early.  Today I was heading to Miyajima.

I caught the streetcar at about 7:30 and made my way over to the ferry.  Just as well I left early since there were a lot of other people on my commute.  I got to the ferry just as the rain started coming down.  But the sight was still beautiful and I got my first glimpse of the Itsukushima Shrine.  The Great Torii floating in the water at high tide.  What a sight!  I debarked and made my way through the little town towards the shore.  It was really quiet at this time and the rain had stopped.  I also got more pictures that ANYone ever needs of the many wild deer strutting around looking for a snack and trying to get into your pictures.  They weren’t aggressive but they knew what they wanted.  A friend of mine told me when they went for a visit they were getting their picture taken and a deer came up and snatched their baby son’s snack!  Sneaky little buggers!

The torii at high tide is incredible.  Just this huge, dominating, orange structure in the calm blue sea.  Nothing around it.  It was one of the highlights of my trip to see this majestic piece of history. I took so many pics and was trying to get me with the torii in the background at a perfect angle.  A difficult task for someone travelling alone.  This sweet woman about my age was also alone and she asked if we could trade off :)  Delighted!

As I was walking and checking out the stone lamps and scenery a lot of junior high school kids were starting to fill the area up.  These two young boys were watching me try to pet a deer and they mimed and used very basic English if I wanted them to take the picture of me with the deer.  So sweet and of course I said yes. Such manners!

Well I had planned a little too well because I was super-early for low-tide and had a lot of time to kill.  So what should I do? I walked around, took more pics of deer, checked out the beautiful town, and then decided to climb a mountain on an empty stomach and a headache from not sleeping.  Best idea ever!  I made my way to the ropeway and was able to get a gondola (car? seating box?) to myself!  I sat back and relaxed until I reached the top.  Then I climbed Mt. Misen.  It was a little cool with a slight breeze and the occasional drizzle.  But good grief – it got hot real fast.  I was sweating and panting before I made it 15 minutes.  I didn’t feel so bad because everyone was in the same position – even the high school kids I passed.  I saw some boys panting and they told me, “It’s hard! Good luck!” Thanks boys.  Then further on this co-ed group moved past me and this one girl said, “Fight!” I took that to heart and attacked the mountain…for 4 minutes then slowed right down again :)  I had been playing catch-up with this couple and their little daughter for a while; we kept passing each other and would say hello and nod as is custom in Japan when climbing a mountain.  Eventually, as I was passing them for the 3^rd  or 4^th time the little girl holds out her hand to me and says, “Dozo.”  It was a candy!  How adorable!!  I gladly accepted.

I finally made it to the top.  It was too bad I was having a slight asthma problem from the climb because the view would have taken my breath away.  Even on the overcast, dreary day it was pure beauty and peace.  A full 360 degree view from the platform.  Totally worth the asthma attack and exhaustion.  Then came the climb down…nothing eventful but just as tiring.  I took the ropeway down again and saw the islands surrounding.  Including one that looked like a Hershey Kiss.  I’m sure it has significance but I can’t think of it now.

I had arrived for low tide.  Fantastic! I walked out and saw the barnacles all over the base with coins pushed into them for luck.  This one little boy was going around and picking up the 100Y coins from the ground! Where are your parents?  The water was very calm further out.  So calm a crane was standing and slooooowwwwwllllyyy walking through the gentles waves and it wasn’t even fazed.

Then, in true Kalai fashion, I hunted down the best kaki gori in town.  This large bowl of powder-shaved ice with strawberries frozen into the block.  Topped with strawberry syrup and condensed milk.  A great lunch anywhere :)  I stayed around for a bit just walking and contemplating.

This visit to Miyajima has been, by far, a top experience in my life.  There is something about that place that just settles you.  You find peace and calmness and happiness.  Even now when I want to escape and am tired of it all I think of my visit to Miyajima and wish to go back again to have that peace once more.

I know everyone says there are places you must visit when you come to Japan.  All of them are wonderful places but above all I recommend Hiroshima and Miyajima.  It allowed me to make a big decision and experience something truly essential to being me.

NEW YEAR'S!!!

New Year’s!!!

So Yokohama and Tokyo for New Year’s again! Here we go!

I was leaving my apartment on the 30^th in the late afternoon. I had heard yells and screams from my apartment and had no idea what they were for. I soon found out. So I leave my place and the next building over has a few people in front of a pasta house, a cardboard sheet lying on the ground, and a thick marble basin on a wooden stand. There was water everywhere. Then something clicked! I asked if this was for mochi smashing and they said yes. I was so excited!!!!

Mochi smashing (not sure what the Japanese term is) is pounding steamed, glutinous rice in the marble basin with mallets. Then you eat the hot, fresh, mochi with different toppings or just plain. I asked if I could watch and they said yes. Thank god I brought my camera :)

A few people could speak some English so they asked me some questions like where am I from, what do I do here, etc, etc. Everyone always exclaimed when they found out I’m an English teacher! Literally gasps and echoes of “Eigo Sensei!” everywhere. It was pretty funny. They invited me into the small restaurant and offered me drinks and tried to get to know me. I was shown into the kitchen to see them steaming the rice in a cheesecloth in a huge pot. They were so welcoming and friendly. Everyone who could tried to speak English to make me feel comfortable. I stood around a little awkwardly watching them all interact with each other but it was nice.

Then the smashing! I was pulled outside by the group leader/class clown! He was awesome! Got the crowd all hyped up and excited, had them cheering loudly and clapping, and trying to make English jokes to lots of laughs! He made sure I could see them pour the sticky, glutinous rice into the basin and gave me some to taste. Yums! Then he went beside the basin and the giant mallet was handed out. They wet the end with water and the leader had a small bowl of water too. Then it started – the leader wet it with water with his hand and the pounder (that’s what I’m calling him :) started smashing. Every time he would wet the rice he would yell something and every time it was hit the crowd would yell something back. I wish I could remember what they said.  It was so cool watching it go from individual grains of rice to a smooth sticky glob (looks and tastes better than it sounds).

They offered the mallet to me and I refused but they insisted! One guy showed me how to hold it and helped my foot placement and I just smashed away – it was so fun!!! I got cheers and chants and applause. Perfect for getting rid of any frustrations, too :) A few other people smashed and the mochi was still steaming hot and delicious looking.

One guy that went after me took the mallet and barely put any power behind it. Then a woman was like, “Ehhh?” Everyone laughed and he was kinda embarrassed; awesome! But he tried a little harder next time.

So after it was done, the leader gave me some in my hand – soooo sticky and warm and soft. A lady came up and fortunately took it from me and put it in a bowl of water. They broke up the pieces and put them in a powder – Kinako. It’s soy flour and sugar. It was delicious. Then someone handed me some dipped in soy sauce and wrapped in nori (seaweed). Oh my god!!! Fresh, warm mochi that I made!!!! Soooo delicious and satisfying! Then I went inside and had tea and talked with some of the others more. There was a man who JUST got off the plane from Shanghai. He spoke perfect English and was super friendly. He told me how everyone there was either related or close-friends. How the leader/funny guy was like a second father to his son. His son (maybe a year) was just being passed from willing holder to willing holder. It was so great.

It was a really great experience and am so happy I was able to join them for it. They took lots of group pics at the end and even though I offered to take them they insisted I join the group. After a very loud and friendly goodbye I left. I was so touched that they were very welcoming and warm and let me join in on their family event. It was perfect and one of the greatest experiences I’ve had in Japan so far.

On the 31^st, I met my friend and her brother in Harajuku. We got some yummy food at the food stalls (small, roasted potatoes with butter and kimchi, and karaage (fried chicken). Really good street food. We walked around for a bit in Omote-Sando (the swanky area we were unworthy to be in ;) then headed over to Meiji Shrine. It’s one of the biggest in the area and expects about 3 million people in the next couple of days. We waited in line for just over an hour until it struck midnight. We were lost in a sea of people. Thousands upon thousands of people around us! But of course, in Japan they know how to wrangle! After midnight hit we were led, in droves, towards the shrine, stopping every few meters. Finally we passed under the huge gate and made our way to the front of the shrine. They had it barricaded but low enough to see the beautiful temple and to throw our offering of money. After we gave the money, clapped twice, and bowed our heads we headed out to buy some gifts (of course). We all bought a beautiful wooden arrow with colourful bells and feathers. We also bought small cloth stuffed bags that were blessed.  They are for good health.  Sweet!  After we got some food again and froze our asses off.

Then we headed home. I was told that trains ran all night. I even checked with the info office at my train station – they were wrong. I caught one train to Shibuya but had to wait an hour and 20 minutes for my next train. THEN I had to wait 40 minutes again for my final train. I got home at 5:20 am. But I had a great night!!! So it was worth it!

Thanks Japan :)

This is me

I started a much-needed vacation on the 29^th. I worked on Christmas (again) but I took a half-day! Got a massage, got some Starbucks, and had dinner with my new co-worker. Pretty good Christmas considering I was away from family again. And my co-worker is great – very nice, smart, helpful. And we even made a pact to get healthy together and go for walks every morning. And she doesn’t pull the leash too hard ;) Hahaha!

But seriously, Christmas wasn’t so bad, I guess and the holiday started a few days later.  My original plans had all fallen through.  Thailand was a no-go because of flight connections, prices, days available. Korea and The Philipines were more of the same. And so I stayed in Yokohama. My friend, who works in Kobe, had a brother coming to visit her so they came to Tokyo for the week. I got to see them a couple times so far which is great because she leaves Japan in a few weeks and who knows when I might see her again. *sigh* Teaching overseas…

My blog hasn’t been updated for a long while and I apologize. I guess I’ve just been in a funk lately and am kinda tired of Japan now. My health hasn’t been the greatest and it’s a constant battle trying to fix my horrifying eczema that scares the kids and parents. The work schedule is still a pain in my ass and the variety of foods to cook and eat are still not working for me.  I don’t think I’ve ever really settled in Japan the way everyone thinks you will.  It’s pretty irritating when everyone tells you how perfect it’s going to be when you go (obviously I took it all with a grain of salt).  But, I gave it my best and we’ll see where it goes from here.

Work has also been really taxing. Teaching 37 classes a week, dealing with difficult students and coworkers. It’s not easy. Especially when your manager tells you “You are a teacher. You must endure when students bite you.” FUCK YOU!!! I don’t have to endure anything like that and YOU should’ve done your job sooner and supported me to get her to stop instead of having me endure for 6 months! Gah! That along with lack of communication and more of the same poor support have made me a little hostile at work but I’m trying…

But I’m working on my skin and health more and trying to be more active. Wish me luck and I hope my next update is sooner and upbeat :)

p.s. Happy post to follow!!!